Do You Have Friends Who Would Carry You?

Author: Rod Reasen II

Many years ago, I was on the road with a colleague, headed to see a prospect for our business. We were talking about life, friends, and the normal chit-chat of a short drive. Several times, he used the phrase “I have a friend,” then named someone connected to the Indianapolis Colts, then the Pacers, then another, and another. Finally, I looked over and said, “Steve, how do you define friend?” He laughed, and for a few minutes we worked out that a friend was someone you call today and grab lunch with tomorrow. Now, don’t judge my definition. I was very young, this was less philosophy than a working definition, and we were about to park the car.

Today’s passage gives us something to ponder about what that definition should look like: friend.

“And getting into a boat, he crossed over and came to his own city. And behold, some people brought to him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, ‘Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven.’ And behold, some of the scribes said to themselves, ‘This man is blaspheming.’ But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, ‘Why do you think evil in your hearts? For which is easier, to say, “Your sins are forgiven,” or to say, “Rise and walk”? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins’—he then said to the paralytic—’Rise, pick up your bed and go home.’ And he rose and went home. When the crowds saw it, they were afraid, and they glorified God, who had given such authority to men.”

Matthew 9:1-8 (ESV)

The synoptic Gospels offer three vantage points, and Mark 2:3-4 provides a deeper look at the men and the act itself.

“And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay.”

Mark 2:3-4 (ESV)

Their faith was visible in their actions. It carried, climbed, dug, and refused to accept the blocked door as a final answer. The grammar keeps it plural, their faith, though the man on the bed plainly shared it. We have already reviewed Jesus’ power over sickness, the storm, and demons, and today our attention turns to the friends. In Galatians 6:2, Paul says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” This runs deeper than carrying a man through town on his mat. It reveals the need and the value of close friends.

Consider for a moment that you are this paralytic. You are confined to a mat, immobile, helpless, but hopeful since word has reached you that Jesus is back in Capernaum. The resignation that had settled over your plight gives way, and your soul ignites with the hope of being healed. The problem is simple: you have no way to reach the Healer. What do you do? By yourself, nothing. You lie there, and you wait. Everything now depends on whether anyone loves you enough to pick up a corner of the mat and carry you to Jesus.

The harsh reality of a digital world is that our pattern of life and rising productivity have widened our network while thinning our relational depth. Our friendships get sorted into work, family, and the activities built around our kids, and most of them never move past a casual hello and how was your weekend. Men are not natural oversharers to begin with, and the numbers bear it out. Research by Movember found that one in three men has no close friends. But life and ministry were never meant to be carried alone.

Throughout biblical history, you find few men who stood alone and many where the mission moved forward in a group. The very first thing God ever called “not good” was a man by himself,¹ and the whole of Scripture bears that verdict out, because Daniel faced the death decree with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego at his side,² the three stood shoulder to shoulder in the furnace,³ Moses only kept his hands raised because Aaron and Hur held them up,⁴ David had Jonathan to strengthen his hand in God⁵ and a band of mighty men who would break an enemy line just to bring him water,⁶ and even the Son of God appointed the Twelve so that they might be with Him,⁷ sent them out two by two,⁸ and asked Peter, James, and John to watch with Him in the garden.⁹ Set against them stand the men who went alone: Elijah, who left his servant behind, collapsed under the broom tree, and believed the lie that he was the only one left;¹⁰ Samson, the lone strongman undone in private who did not even know the Lord had departed from him;¹¹ and the man on the Jericho road, traveling by himself, left half dead, unable to reach help on his own.¹² The pattern is impossible to miss, and it is the same pattern as the paralytic who could not come to Christ alone, so the only question the passage leaves on the table is simple: who is carrying you, and who are you carrying?

The four in that house could not do much for their friend. They could not teach him, could not heal him, could not forgive a single sin. But they could carry him, and that was enough. Spurgeon said it plainly:

“They could not preach, but they could hold a rope.”

Charles H. Spurgeon, “Carried by Four,” sermon on the paralytic, The Spurgeon Center (spurgeon.org). Public domain.

The church needs more than preachers. It needs men willing to bear the weight of a brother who cannot yet stand.

You need friends who will hold your feet to the fire and rescue you when you need it. You need to be that friend to someone else.

Do you have friends close enough to ask you the hard questions about your walk?

Do you have four brothers who would carry your paralyzed body up onto a roof, cut a hole in it, and embarrass themselves just to put you in front of Jesus? And would you do it for them?

Stay on Mission

Who were the friends who carried the paralytic in Matthew 9?

Scripture never names them. Only Mark gives the number, “carried by four men” (Mark 2:3); Matthew says “some people” and Luke says “some men.” We know nothing of their names or their relationship to the man. What the text commends is their faith, which Jesus “saw” because it acted.

Why did Jesus forgive the man’s sins before healing his body?

Jesus went after the deeper need first. By pronouncing forgiveness, He made a claim only God could make, which is why the scribes charged blasphemy. He then healed the man as public proof that “the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins” (Matthew 9:6). The visible miracle authenticated the invisible pardon.

What does “bear one another’s burdens” mean in Galatians 6:2?

Paul commands believers to carry the weights a brother cannot carry alone, and says doing so fulfills the law of Christ. In this passage, it takes flesh: four men literally carry a man who cannot carry himself. It is friendship that acts, not friendship that only sympathizes.

How did the men lower the paralytic through the roof?

First-century homes in Capernaum had flat roofs of wooden beams covered with branches, reeds, and packed mud, reachable by an outside stair. The men dug through that roof (Mark 2:4) and let the mat down on ropes. Luke, writing for a different audience, describes tiles (Luke 5:19); both fit the construction of the day.

How do Matthew, Mark, and Luke’s accounts of the paralytic differ?

They agree on every essential and differ only in detail and emphasis. Matthew is briefest and keeps the focus on Jesus’ authority, leaving out the crowd, the four, and the roof. Mark adds the bearers and the dug-through roof. Luke notes Pharisees had gathered from as far as Jerusalem and that the man was lowered through tiles. Read together, they fill out one scene.

What does Matthew 9 teach men about friendship today?

It sets the bar higher than a contact list. Real friends carry you when you cannot move, ask the hard questions, and refuse to accept a blocked door as the final word. With one in three men reporting no close friends (Movember), the passage names a modern crisis: a wide network and no one holding a corner of the mat.

What does the Bible say about men needing close friends?

From the beginning, God called it “not good” for a man to be alone (Genesis 2:18), and Scripture is full of men who advanced only in company: Daniel with his three, Moses held up by Aaron and Hur, David and Jonathan, Jesus and the Twelve. The men who isolated, Elijah under the broom tree and Samson in private, show the other side. “Two are better than one” (Ecclesiastes 4:9) is the Bible’s steady verdict.

Footnotes